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Did you know that 100 shoelaces come untied every second and it’s—
what? Don’t believe me? It’s true: 100 shoelaces come untied every second,
just like yours right now. What? You untied them yourself?
Now why would you do that? Retie them now and—
hey, you’re doing it wrong. Here, let me do it. You do it like this.
Untying your shoelaces yourself, what were you thinking?
Those 100 people probably double knotted theirs,
maybe even triple knotted or quadrupled—
What’s with that look? You think tying shoelaces is easy?
Think you can just knot it back up right there and then?
Let me tell you about that time when—
No, this isn’t the story about your dad and roaches.
No, not that one either. When did I ever tell you about that one?
Look, do you want to hear the story or—no? Fine then. There we go.
Done. All tight and secure. What? No thanks?
Hey hey, don’t go untying them now unless you can tie it back yourself.
Why are you even wearing those shoes?
Don’t you know summer’s a lonely season for shoes with laces?

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